Anger Management

Yet another great forward which i received

For those of you that would like a way to vent frustration or anger, follow this valuable lesson...it works !

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it.

A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Frank. Could I please speak with John?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down John's correct number and called him. I had transposed the last two digits of his phone number. After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an arsehole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'arsehole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or having a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an arsehole!" It always cheered me up.

When caller ID came to the area, I thought my therapeutic 'arsehole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from BT. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with Caller ID?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an arsehole!"

One day I was at the supermarket, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me up and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot.

The prat ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first arsehole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW arsehole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 21 Acacia Avenue. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Dave Matthews," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Dave?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Dave, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Dave, you're an arsehole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called arsehole #1.

"Hello. You're an arsehole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Dave Matthews."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Arsehole, I live at 21 Acacia Avenue, a yellow house, with a black Beamer parked in the front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Dave. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, arsehole."

Then I called Arsehole #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, arsehole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, arsehole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 21 Acacia Avenue, and that I was on my way over there to kill my cheating bastard of a gay lover.

Then I called Channel 4 News about the gang war going down on Acacia Avenue.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Acacia Avenue with my video camera. There I saw two arseholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six police cars, a police helicopter and a Channel 4 news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works. I have the video to prove it!