When everything goes wrong !!
I had vowed never to write about CAT but i just cannot refrain myself from doing so.I wanna pour it out.I wanna cleanse myself and go afresh this week.My parents were a little bit disturbed and asked whether i needed to see a psychologist . I really pity them more than pitying myself.I know they have done their best in providing me with all facilities and yet i am unable to fulfill their wishes.When all my peers are in US doing their MS and their parents proudly claim that their sons have got aid and have got a job i can see the wishful thinking in my mom's eyes as to when her son would also reach that pedestal and when she can also raise her head.Her only wish as far as to my knowledge had been to see me packed off to US to do an MS and yet i failed her in that account.i want to make it up by bagging a seat in the prestigious IIMs but now i know it seems very unlikely.I am not able to go beyond a certain range in my Mocks.I have tried each and evry goddanmn fucking strategy.Invariably i goof up big time in one section or do not maximise.so it eventually lands me somewhere near the prescribed cutoff ,missing sectional cutoff in one section.Why is this happening to me!! why always me ??
I know that i am not that bad.I have a very good vocabulary,good grammar,good analytical skills yet i am unable to make the cut.Does that mean that i am not good for CAT.If this were april or may i would have quit CAT but i have done so much that its really difficult to forsake it @ last stage.My parents have been very appreciative and have said that CAT is not life and failure is the stepping stone to success,but i cannot accept the fact.I have spent close to 1000 hours of my time preparing for CAT.It is said that Luck favours the hardworking,in my case it has never been.How else do i explain the fact that after narrowing down my options to two i invariably mark the wronger one.I just cannot accept defeat.I am fighting a losing battle with even time running against me ,but having come so far i just dont want to lose.I ate,dreamt and slept only CAT for the past 5 months.I dont want my dreams to get shattered.the more i think of it the more frightening the prospects seem.Life is much more than CAT and it is not necessary that i need an IIM to be succesfull in life,i very well know that.But at this stage i wanna emerge an winner ,i wanna gladden the hearts of my parents .They deserve much more.In all my life i have not done anything worthwhile,my father bought me a seat in engineering,coz i floundered my 12th,i failed miserably in my GRE ,did not do any wothwhile projects during college which would have ensured me aid in some foreign univ.The sole highlight being i got a job in campus.Given the current state of affairs of IT,i dont think it is a great achievement to rave about.
The label of "Loser" looms large over my head.I dont want to be a loser again.I wanna win this battle.I have the spirit,but i need the luck terribly more than that.
When will i have my piece of the cake i so rightfully deserve(Yes i deserve it,i donno about others but i definitely want my share ).Will i get it??
I know that i am not that bad.I have a very good vocabulary,good grammar,good analytical skills yet i am unable to make the cut.Does that mean that i am not good for CAT.If this were april or may i would have quit CAT but i have done so much that its really difficult to forsake it @ last stage.My parents have been very appreciative and have said that CAT is not life and failure is the stepping stone to success,but i cannot accept the fact.I have spent close to 1000 hours of my time preparing for CAT.It is said that Luck favours the hardworking,in my case it has never been.How else do i explain the fact that after narrowing down my options to two i invariably mark the wronger one.I just cannot accept defeat.I am fighting a losing battle with even time running against me ,but having come so far i just dont want to lose.I ate,dreamt and slept only CAT for the past 5 months.I dont want my dreams to get shattered.the more i think of it the more frightening the prospects seem.Life is much more than CAT and it is not necessary that i need an IIM to be succesfull in life,i very well know that.But at this stage i wanna emerge an winner ,i wanna gladden the hearts of my parents .They deserve much more.In all my life i have not done anything worthwhile,my father bought me a seat in engineering,coz i floundered my 12th,i failed miserably in my GRE ,did not do any wothwhile projects during college which would have ensured me aid in some foreign univ.The sole highlight being i got a job in campus.Given the current state of affairs of IT,i dont think it is a great achievement to rave about.
The label of "Loser" looms large over my head.I dont want to be a loser again.I wanna win this battle.I have the spirit,but i need the luck terribly more than that.
When will i have my piece of the cake i so rightfully deserve(Yes i deserve it,i donno about others but i definitely want my share ).Will i get it??
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