Chennai Born Confused Softie
Chennai Ambi's Musings...
Thursday, March 31, 2005
The art of attaining Age
i had typed this on women's day but forgot to publish and now i dig thru my archives and here it is..
i have often been amused by the fact that when a girl attains age ppl here in india esp: south india celebrate it like a big occasion.I thought that the scene in the film kadhal was exaggerated.but on enquiring with some of my friends in madurai i realised that after all ,events of such magnitude do exist.just imagine the Poor girl writhes in pain and here her relatives celebrate the ocassion.its just another process in the human biological cycle and we celebrate it with such pomp and festivity.Boyz have always been barred from those functions..when i was a kid i cud not take part in the fn: and i felt really bad coz i missed out the good food.but now i realise why i wasn't invited.i would have asked the female member right in her face in front of all relatives what was the big fuss all about and what it means by attaining age?? But one advantage is on those few initial days the girls are treated like godesses and they always adorn new clothes and jewels.Now why is this event so special?? I seriously cannot imagine. Why dont we have special functions for the kid using the Potty for the first time, the kid scolding the primary teacher,kid able to walk,kid getting caught watching porn magazines and so on.
with this function the girls have disadvantages as well as advantages.Why not a function on the same lines as this for guyz. we all know that we are still living in a neo conservative world wherein you cannot watch FTV or films like american pie with your parents. By having an occasion signalling the arrival of manhood we guyz cud benefit tremendously.though we have to face the initial ignominy of saying..Yeah..its true it happened..i am a man now.. the advantages are huge.
But the main prom is how do you know when you come of age?? thats a very difficult question to answer.After few discussions came up with few ways by which your parent will know that " their darling Kid is now a Man".I would say these following ways by which parents can find out whether their SOn is a Man now.But since kids nowadays start their activities by age 12 the following conditions would be applicable for men of age > 14.
1) Getting caught watching porn on internet
2) Finding books like debonair,PB,PH diaries in your school bag.
3) A Plain CD lying in the middle rack of the books having the words MP3 written on it.
4) Your TV remote's swap button stops working after every month and you are forced to buy a new one every month.
5) Your kid pesters you to allow him to stay up late on satday nights and the most important thing is that you are able to sleep peacefully and you cannot even hear the faintest sound from the TV which leaves u wondering what he is watching.
6) The frequency of night stays in friends place increases
7) Invariably as soon as parents go out and come before the stipulated time there will a horde of 14-20 year olds with chips ,snacks carrom-boards and chess boards. the most important thing is all the children will be watching the most boring TV soap as soon as you enter.All the coins will be on the board but all of them will be in a haphazard manner.Not even a single coin would be pocketed.the chess board will have all the pieces intact. not even a single pawn would have been eliminated.
8) Your kid suddenly start reading TOI tabloid with renewed vigour and interest.
many more are there.. but these are teh few which we cud come up with.
Just imagining how the parents will organise such a function for the guyz. what will they say to the guests.
How does this sound?
Friend : Dude,Congrats how did yourson attain age at such an young age..
father :(Proudly and with a beaming smile) after all,he my son,naa..
So when are we going to go to the next genX??when is this function going to start??
What are the advantages as such??
well...there are innumerous advantages but that cannot be blurted out...guyz can obviously figure it out..;-)
All said and done, i am very much against this function (doesn't it sound ironical,well this is my split persona..the serious persona..) . i think it was started by some sadistic step-mother who wanted to humiliate her step-daughter.the idea gradually spread and we have mothers doing it for their daughters jus becoz even they had to face the brunt of it.
Mom : wear this dress and sit in the coconut leave cabin
daughter: yikes,what a stupid idea..can't i sit in the sofa..
mom..abishtuu..if u sit in the sofa it will become "theetu" . sonnathu sai(do what i say)
daughter: now why the hell do i have to do that
mom: becoz ita a very important fn: u have attained age..
daughter : so,what's the big deal??
mom: dont ask me stupid questions..i was forced to do it..now u will also do it and if u wish to seek retribution hold that for your daughter too..
daughter with eyes glinting with anger seeks revenge by celebrating an occasion for her daughter 25 years later. when will this revenge stop??
when the world is moving at such a rapid pace we are still having functions for these kinds of events.when are we going to change. if you are not changing then bring a function for us too. we also need new clothes and of coz a cricket kit and computer would be sufficient in place of jewels which u gift for the female tribe.is anybody listening??
P.s: All said in light humour,not intended to offend anyone.if anyone feels hurt,lemme know,i will try to remove the post.
ramesh here. great to hear you joining glim. I am joining mdi. Felt nice to read your article. Btw, boys did have a ritual like this. It involved shaving off a guy's chest (wink wink), and almost all of the front part of his what not. The aborgines did it.
Read about it on my blog. Shave the whales