Prashanth,Wake up !!
I have to keep telling this to myself to keep me awake! Side effects of intensive Bench scrubbing is somnific.i dont need a soporific ,my work is more than enough to do so. Today has been one of the most drab days,I realised that the CAT mania is eating me alive and i am slowly losing my individuality, humour and best of all my ability to recollect jokes from movies and narrating it to friends . Life's becoming more mechanical and predictable . There is no variety or spice .This monday and next mondya are going to be the same.the routine never changes.Hardly any surprises!! . I go to my home for lunch ,hence i dont talk to my classmates in my project during lunch time,leave home by 6:30 and then also very less time for friends.Weekends pass in a jiffy with saturdays going for analysis and sunday's for mocks.I am unable to devote any time for my friends.
Is this what i wanted?I wanted a happy life but for ensuring that my future is going to be great i am missing my present . I am not partying , i am not going out , i am not dreaming . what's happening to me.There used to be days wherein in coimbatore when i used to go to the ISKCON temple i used to think that i will bring my wife with me here,my kids and take out a walk with the girl of my dreams in my college campus at 12 in the night.But now,even when i goto temples i just think i have to CRACK CAT . The Idiot Box gives me some company but my parents say that i have to start studying and to crack CAT more efforts would be required.I am 22 but i cannot argue coz i know i would need their support in future.In case i fail to make the CUT i need somebody to give me solace and i dont want my parents to say that for your efforts this is what you deserve.(though this seems unlikely,i am not ruling out probabilities).Deep down i know how much my heart yearns for a seat in the IIMs and i darenot think about the consequences.
I am tring to maintain my cool but am unable to do so.I know i deserve a break but i dont have the confidence to take a break.I am analysing my mocks to the max but the results are yet to come.I need one confidence booster.thats all i ask,if i manage a score of 55 + in any one mock then i will be able to strike form . I dont know why I am doing so badly.Mebbe God wants me to continue on the good work so that the fruits will reap at the most oppurtune time.But right now i need a break and a morale booster!! God!! R u listening??
Is this what i wanted?I wanted a happy life but for ensuring that my future is going to be great i am missing my present . I am not partying , i am not going out , i am not dreaming . what's happening to me.There used to be days wherein in coimbatore when i used to go to the ISKCON temple i used to think that i will bring my wife with me here,my kids and take out a walk with the girl of my dreams in my college campus at 12 in the night.But now,even when i goto temples i just think i have to CRACK CAT . The Idiot Box gives me some company but my parents say that i have to start studying and to crack CAT more efforts would be required.I am 22 but i cannot argue coz i know i would need their support in future.In case i fail to make the CUT i need somebody to give me solace and i dont want my parents to say that for your efforts this is what you deserve.(though this seems unlikely,i am not ruling out probabilities).Deep down i know how much my heart yearns for a seat in the IIMs and i darenot think about the consequences.
I am tring to maintain my cool but am unable to do so.I know i deserve a break but i dont have the confidence to take a break.I am analysing my mocks to the max but the results are yet to come.I need one confidence booster.thats all i ask,if i manage a score of 55 + in any one mock then i will be able to strike form . I dont know why I am doing so badly.Mebbe God wants me to continue on the good work so that the fruits will reap at the most oppurtune time.But right now i need a break and a morale booster!! God!! R u listening??
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